Sex

Don't be alarmed, but this is another post from school.

I like to use puzzlemaker.com to make word searches for spelling practice. They say they try to not put questionable words into the puzzle, but sometimes they inadvertently show up.

Sex, for example, was in today's puzzle.

One of the boys was APPALLED and covered the whole word up with pencil. "Its what grownups do," he says. Its not long and the whole class, except for a few of my more innocent babies, have found it.

I, being the professional, tell them that its "just a word. Every single one of your parents wrote either an "m" or an "f" in the box on their school registration next to the word 'sex.'"

That made them be quiet for a minute.

Would you like a little pepper with that?

I know, I know...two posts in two days. When blog-worthy stories happen, I have to share.

This afternoon I was on the phone with the nice lady from DISH network when two of my grandkids start coughing and choking. I told the lady that I thought it was so ironic that they were fine until I called. She laughed and said that she has had to use her mute key because she has had a bad cough, too. We solved our problem and hung up and suddenly Tristen comes in, bouncing like water on a hot skillet.

"My lips hurt, my lips hurt!!" was all he could say. Of course, I don't think it can be any medical problem so I ask him what has he been in to. He replies, nothing, but I know better, so I persist. He confesses he was playing with something, but he doesn't know what it is. We go into my bedroom, and there on the bed is the very pepper spray Mark bought me two years ago,(then sprayed me with) for my protection. Mark is right behind me, walked over to the spray, picked it up, and sprayed HIMSELF in the face. Not right in the face, but close enough that he started coughing and choking, too.

As I was cleaning up Tristen's face, I told him that he was lucky that he didn't throw up. As it happened, he did. Twice.

Charlie could not smell it, but I think that is because he LOVES Axe, if you know what I mean.

Becky came over to get the kids, and had to leave. She was having coughing spasms.

I am thinking of sleeping in the guest bedroom.

Another funny from school...

Warning--some might find this story offensive. Sorry.

In kindergarten through second grade, children are taught phonemic awareness. Simply said, they are made aware of sounds. They also learn that sounds have graphic representations called letters. All letters make sounds, some go together to make blends, some make unexpected sounds when they are together like 'th,' 'sh.' Other letters are silent in words like the 'k' in knot, the 'w' in wring, or the 'e' in same. We practice this A LOT.

One of the ways we practice is to 'blend' words sound by sound.

Today, someone (not me) in my class was blending blends and came to a cr family of words. The students always know to "blend to the vowel," and by now are very good at it. The person (not me) decided to do a c-r-a group of words. She told the students they could add a /g/, /b/, and a /p/ to make a new word. I sat in the back and thought, "She is NOT going to actually DO it..." Yes, she did.
Crag, crab, and yes--crap.

My two PARENT helpers and I sat in the back of the room and had quite a little chuckle. Well, I knew Becky would laugh, but I saved mine until I knew the other woman thought it was funny, too. Many of the students giggled.

A student in front of us turned around and had the most horrified look on her face.

"I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT WORD! I am a CATH-O-LIC!"

I have always said that if the parents really knew what was going on in my class, they might be less excited to have their students enrolled.

Have a nice week!
PS I just noticed that I have my pants on inside out. Don't worry, I wore a dress to school.

More eye news

I had my left eye cataract removed yesterday.
It only took one poke to start the IV, thank you Brandon!!!! (He is the father of one of my former students and took very good care of me)
Also, today, only one day post op--I can see 20/25 in that eye. Its great. Everything you all with good vision take for granted, I am now experiencing. The sun is really BRIGHT! Colors are amazingly beautiful, and everything looks so much crisper. Overall, the world is visually stunning. Who would have thought?
I don't wear glasses now, except the really ugly dollar store reading ones. Seriously, one pair is exactly like a pair I wore in the 4th grade. It was the 60's. And don't even get me started on the hideous 'grandma' glasses they give you at the doctors office. There is no way light can get inside them. I look like the Unabomber in them.
I also had the pleasure of being driven by my dad to the appointment. It was fun, and he bought me pancakes after. There is just no way to beat that, except that he also took me to an antique store after. It was a fun daddy-daughter date.
All in all, it has been a pretty good couple of days.
Hope everyone else is having this much fun.

Hint for the day....

Drink water. Lots of water.

When I had my cataract out, they had to poke me 8 times to find a vein that would take the IV.

Yesterday when I had some other blood work done, they poked me and NO BLOOD CAME OUT!
It was disturbing. They sent me home and told me to drink LOTS of water. I did it. By bedtime (warning--this is going to be personal) when I used the bathroom, my urine was clear. No color at all. I did drink A LOT of water.

The good news is that today when I went in for my blood work, they were successful in just one try!

Rest assured that I will be drinking lots of water now. I have another cataract surgery this Thursday. Hopefully only one poke this time.

Hopefully.

Loves to all on a cold autumn day!
Kathy

Show and Tell

Today was show and tell. A little more tell than show.

Grown-ups can be such jerks. Just ask the little girl whose tell was that her Dad left and went to California, and isn't coming back. EVER.

It left one boy in tears. Empathy.

Kids can be so cool. One little boy said he just came from California and "it only takes two days to get here. Maybe your dad will come back." Many of the students gave the little girl hugs on her way out, even though they were late for the bus.

I love my job, but sometimes it just breaks my heart.

Oopsie

Recently I was talking to someone and telling her how much I enjoyed Kelsey's big day. I told her about how great the temple was, the luncheon later..and that the reception was beautiful. I told her we loved everything about the reception exsept the backdrop falling down (after our decorator assured us that would not happen, because we had the larger one that was anchored), and the decorator's 'help' helping themselves to our dessert, which we had to pay for by the serving.

Turns out the decorator and the help are this woman's family.

One of my best talents is fitting my foot right into my mouth.