Sometimes I Need To Be Reminded

Sometimes I need to remember what I believe and stand for. Here's my list. I think I am better at some than others. Luckily I have time to work on them. First: Life is mostly good with some hard stuff thrown in for good measure. The hard stuff is what defines us. Therefore, what we do with it determines who we become. So, handle the tough stuff with care. Second: While I don't really believe in Karma (although I have known a few Karmas and Carmas in my life), how we act toward people really does come back to us. If you are kind, you will probably be treated kindly, but if you are mean, you may be treated in a way you may not like. Third: Surprisingly though, we may find ourselves being treated unfairly by people for no apparent reason at all. IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON NUMBER ONE: Life is not fair. However, I guarantee you are not being treated as poorly as some people in the world. There are places where women are still stoned for showing their faces, or places where little children serve as soldiers and do not attend school. Fourth: Remember how incredibly blessed you are. IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON NUMBER TWO: You will never be happy when the list of things you want is longer than the list of things you're thankful for. Fifth: Family is everything! IMPORTANT LIFE LESSON NUMBER THREE: Family is everything. Family comes before self every single time. Every time. Probably this should be important life lesson number one, and mentioned before everything else, but....it's ok. Sixth: When you make a promise, keep it. Seventh: Whatever thing you are looking for in the world, in people, in relationships, in church....you WILL find it. If you expect to be treated poorly,you will. If you think it will be a bad day, it will. Conversely, if you think today will be the best day ever and you look for the things that will make it that way, you will not be disappointed. Eighth: You and only you are in charge of your attitude. "Men are free to act..." Ninth: Never, ever think people aren't watching, listening, loving, caring. They are and do. Tenth: Never underestimate your influence in the world. You influence constantly for good or bad. You either bring joy or pain into the world. Choose to bring joy. Eleventh: Do not make your mother cry. Wise words from a wise man. Twelve: Satan is real. He is miserable and wants us all to be too, so he sets nifty little traps to destroy us and our families. It is easy to see the traps when they are set for others, but we are sometimes blinded by our own pride and believe we are entitled to our destructive feelings because they belong to us. When we don't forgive, when we are stubborn with people, when we hold onto anger...we LET him win. We are not doing a good enough job in defending our families. We are spending more time on home security systems than time protecting our eternal families. Thirteenth: God is real. So is his Son, Jesus the Christ. He gave His Only Begotten Son because he loves us. His Son gave his everything because He, too loves us. Don't brush off that sacrifice because of pride, unforgiving attitudes, feelings of injustice. There is only one Judge. It isn't me, or you, or the President, or the Queen of England. He will judge in a more fair and loving way than we tend to judge ourselves and others. Fourteen: Be happy. Fifteen: Be faithful. I recently heard another wise man say we need to be better about understanding the POWER of faith. Sixteen: Forgive like you hope others will forgive you. It's hard to believe, but you probably offend others as much as you feel the offense. Yep. If you don't believe me, ask the person who bothers you the most if you bother them, but don't get mad with their answer. Seventeenth: Free agency isn't free and while it seems like good fun, it can be one of the greatest sources of consternation you will have. People will not always choose what you hope they would. Learning to master agency can be harder that calculus. Or rocket science. Eighteenth: Love like you hope to be loved. Don't hold back, holding back is one of Satan's best tricks. He doesn't really want us to love each other. Nineteenth: You are not better than anyone. Twentieth: There is humor everywhere. Find it. Twenty-first: Serve everyone like your life depends on it. Serve those you have a hard time with most. There you go.

Musing

It has been a LONG time since I've written anything on my blog. It isn't for a lack of things to write about in my life. In the last 12 months I've: Had another surgery on my eye, now I can see 20/20. Got TWO wonderful, beautiful, fabulous new daughters-in-law. Ran my first 5K. And many, many other things. Life has been mostly good, but isn't it always? Today has been my day of feeling....reflective. I took my mom and Aunt Kay to Montana to see Marti. I wish I had a picture of her face when we walked in! She was SO happy! It just made me glad I thought of taking them up. We had a great time driving around and seeing Marti's old stomping grounds. She and Wayne somehow understand each other, and she was directing him all over Dillon. Whenever he'd get where she wanted him to go, she'd say, "TADA!!!" Since her stroke, she hasn't been able to verbally articulate how she feels, what she needs, what hurts...the list goes on and on. We underestimate the power of speaking. Of being able to say, "I love you." Marti is the kind of teacher I want to be just like. She loved her students. She helped them have successes, even in the face of really hard issues. She has worked with some of the most difficult students there are. Some had cognitive issues, some had problems socially, others were students with behavioral issues so pronounced--some thought them unteachable. She taught them skills that gave them sources of income. She gave every single kid a chance. Every SINGLE one. Now she's in a rest home recuperating from a broken pelvis. In this home is 'boy' in a cowboy hat. One of her former students. When we were taking her out for a walk, he raised his hand to say hi, but when we approached him, he put his head down. Two other residents picked up his slack and asked her if she was going out. "What a deal," she said with a grin. This is one of only five phrases she can articulate. They don't care, they love her. We love her. It's hard to know how she was, to how she is now, but today we got to see a glimpse of her old self. It was a good day. The other reason I'm feeling like this is that a girl who was in choir with Kelsey was killed in an accident last night. I barely knew her, but I have such fond memories of her. She sang like an angel. I remember the solo she did for Jr. Miss like it was yesterday. I remember how kind she was to the younger girls. I remember her helping us cut veggies at at special dinner. In all, I probably spent only 6 hours of her too short life with her. Yet, I am profoundly saddened by her passing. SO...it makes me wonder about how many people are, or will be affected by me in MY lifetime. I swear, everybody in Montana knows Marti. She has obviously had such an impact on so many lives...she still does. Sarah was just starting out. She could not have known the impact she had in my life. It just really makes me have the feeling I should be so, SO much better.

I really am still alive. Just thought I'd point that out. I have been busy, but at this moment I can't think of even one thing that has prevented me from posting something new. School is starting soon. I will probably have some fun kid stories then. I hope!

Yeah, I'm Sexy and I Know it.

In the last year I have learned I have osteopenia AND a kind of arthritic condition in my back. In the osteopenia, I don't have enough calcium for strong bones, and in my back I have too much.

What to do, what to do....

Well, here's what my smart soon to be daughter-in-law tells me I must do. W.O.R.K.O.U.T. She says it will help strengthen my bones and keep my back from doing bad things.

(She is a smart girl. Jeremy chose a beautiful girl who just graduated as a doc of physical therapy. I'm going to have to write him a thank you card. The timing couldn't be better!)

Since the beginning of the new year, I have gone to my gym five times a week. I go to classes and lift weights (Yes, I really do.) Zumba is fun, but when I watch myself in the mirror all surrounded by the younger girls, and even one guy, I catch myself thinking, "what the heck are you doing?!?!?" I suck in my gut, then I can't breathe which makes me think I need water, which is good cuz I believe I lose a gallon of water each class in sweat.

Then...a popular song comes on....'I'm Sexy and I Know it." Suddenly I can move like a Dancing with the Stars star....ok, the star might be Nancy Grace or maybe even Chaz Bono.....but I feel GOOD!

Another benefit from Zumba is that I am remembering my Spanish. It's not really conversational, but who knows...someday those words might come in handy.

Oddly, I think I have nothing else to say on the subject of my self-torture. More will come soon....I'm sure of it.

25 Years

Tomorrow is our anniversary. Twenty-five years of wedded bliss.

I wish I could say it has all been blissful, but I DO like to tell the truth. It has been rewarding, fun, adventuresome, comfortable, exciting. It has been full of love, happiness, and joy. I have felt contented, supported, and cherished.

However, some of our blissful days have been hard. Excruciatingly so. It was hard to care for Mark's mom while she lay dying, hard to be apart so much. Of course we have had the normal ups and downs most marriages experience.

Through it all, I have come to know real love. I feel it for him, and he tells me he feels it back. I feel so blessed to have such a kind and loving husband. I am grateful to be married to my best friend. Many women I know have 'girl's nights' but I rarely is ever go out without my hubby. I love that he is honest with me.

This man really is my other half. As cliche as it sounds, he completes me. Without him I know I wouldn't be the person I am now.

I just can't wait for eternity.

New Year

Yes, it is the new year. New beginnings. I like that. I am not one for resolutions because I never can follow through with them.

I am setting a few goals. One is to take better care of myself: spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I need to learn to manage my busy life, facebook (and all things related to my IPad), and work to make sure I'm OK.

Another is to be less judgmental, to be more forgiving, to be kinder.

I would also like to find more ways to serve others. Not by making them cookies, but to be more aware of their needs, and to be there for them.

OK...these are goals, not resolutions. Hopefully I can follow through with these.

With all my love as the new year begins.....Kathy

Little payoff

I had a student several years ago, who I actually knew from the school where I aided. He had a rough go as a little guy, and he worked his way into my heart because of the situation he was being raised in.

When he became my student as a fifth grader, he was on a path of destruction. He had very little direction at home, a rough group of friends, and desire to be like the other kids. He wasn't though. He did have much to overcome, but a high level of intelligence. One day, after he had been in trouble every day for a week we came to an impasse. When you have a kid like him, nothing is as bad as what is at home waiting for him, so no level of re-direction or discipline means much.

So, we had a little chat. I told him sincerely that I knew what it was like at home, and that unless he decided that he wanted things to be different for him in his life, nothing would ever change for him. I told him that the people he was hanging with would introduce him the same things his mom was having trouble with--and that if he thought he was stronger and could be better than that, he was crazy. I told him the truth about his scores, that he was in fact, in the top five of my class. I told him that I hoped he would use his intelligence and do something with his life and break the cycle. I told him that I would help him find scholarships and help him enroll in college--and that I believed that education was his ONLY chance for a better life. Things changed a little for the rest of the year and then he moved.

I have had a little contact with him since then, but I wondered and worried about where he was all the time.

Today, after the funeral of a person too young to die, I saw my student. He now towers over me and is a man. He gave me his big smile and grabbed me and pulled me into a hug. Then he said, "Mrs B, you know how you said you would help me get into school? I've been working hard and I only have 3 credits left and then I can get into an electronics program at ISU. Can you help me?"

I can't tell anyone what that meant to me.

Nice to know I can make a difference. I love this kid. I love all my babies, but this one kid is exactly the reason I became a teacher. I am SO happy I can help him.